(via Sweet Meteor O’Death)
I just came across this great parody of Hillary Clinton, and the things I am sure she would like to get off her chest. It was written by someone on medium.com.
Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am
by Hillary Clinton
What the fuck is your problem, America??
I’m Hillary goddamn Clinton. I’m a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane network of powerful friends. I’m willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so I can fix this fucking country for you. And all you little bitches need to do is get off your asses one goddamn day in November.
“Oh but what about your eeeemaaaaillls???” Shut the fuck up. Seriously, shut the fuck up and listen for one fucking second.
Here’s all you need to know about me:
- In 1992, I said I was proud to have followed my career instead of baking cookies.
- The GOP fucking dragged me for it. They made me bake cookies. They’rescared of me.
- Every time I have a job, y’all love me. Every time I run for anything, the GOP breaks out the big guns again and fucks me up good. And apparently it fucking works.
But you know what? I don’t fucking care. If I gave two shits about the haters I would’ve dropped the game decades ago.
You know why I keep fighting? Because we all want the same shit. We want economic and racial justice, we want to seriously attack climate change, we want everyone to be able to afford college and health care and housing and food, we want women to be treated like humans, yada yada yada.
And I’m the only person in this goddamn country who knows how to do it.
Because of course I do. Because I’ve been preparing my whole fucking life for this job. So stop making me dab on Ellen and just give me a fucking chance already.
If it seems like I have contempt for the American voter, it’s because I do. Frankly, most of you are fucking stupid. Most of you have no goddamn idea what it takes to run a country. I mean god damn, almost half of you think God created the Earth 10,000 years ago!
In something of a surprise, both the GOP and the Democrats have placed calls for the restoration of the Glass-Steagall Act. Glass-Steagall, repealed in 1999 by the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, prohibited banks from most types of speculative stock trading. As far as I am concerned, the repeal of Gramm-Leach-Bliley and the restoration of Glass-Steagall would benefit our banking industry.
“In terms of political significance, the presence of the same plank in both party platforms means that the one thing we can bet on seeing in 2017 is a tougher attitude toward the financial industry,” Elaine C. Kamarck, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution and a Democratic superdelegate, wrote in an analysis.
“To date,” she continued, “there hasn’t been much interest in this in Congress. But if the establishment heard one thing loud and clear in the 2016 primaries, it was that millions of Americans think that they were the victims of Wall Street and that the next president had better pay attention.”
* * *
David Stockman, a former director of the Office of Management and Budget in the Reagan administration, has been quietly pushing for Mr. Trump to own the issue of Glass-Steagall, arguing its political advantages. “By embracing Super Glass-Steagall, Donald Trump could instantly leap to the left of Hillary on the cutting issue of Wall Street and the one percenters,” he wrote in June on his website. “Super Glass-Steagall would consign today’s handful of giant financial services conglomerates to the arena of pure free enterprise, where they would live or die at the hands of competition and their value to customers.”
It’s worth noting there is little love lost between the nation’s biggest banks and Mr. Trump: Most of the country’s biggest banks haven’t lent money to him in years.
Top officials at the Democratic National Committee criticized and mocked Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont during the primary campaign, even though the organization publicly insisted that it was neutral in the race, according to committee emails made public on Friday by WikiLeaks.WikiLeaks posted almost 20,000 emails sent or received by a handful of top committee officials and provided an online tool to search through them. While WikiLeaks did not reveal the source of the leak, the committee said last month that Russian hackers had penetrated its computer system.Among the emails released on Friday were several embarrassing messages that suggest the committee’s chairwoman, Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Florida, and other officials favored Hillary Clinton over Mr. Sanders — a claim the senator made repeatedly during the primaries.* * *The emails appear to bolster Mr. Sanders’s claims that the committee, and in particular Ms. Wasserman Schultz, did not treat him fairly. His campaign accused the committee of scheduling debates on weekends so fewer people would see them. And in May, Jeff Weaver, Mr. Sanders’s campaign manager, said on CNN that “we could have a long conversation just about Debbie Wasserman Schultz and how she’s been throwing shade at the Sanders campaign since the very beginning.”
Trump puts forward the same iron fist as Nixon, but Nixon clothed his in a velvet glove.
Trump threw away the glove.
— David Gergen
In the most consequential speech of his life, delivered 401 days into his improbable run for the White House, Mr. Trump sounded much like the unreflective man who had started it with an escalator ride in the lobby of Trump Tower: He conjured up chaos and promised overnight solutions.
To an electorate that remains anxious about his demeanor, his honesty and his character, Mr. Trump offered no acknowledgment, no rebuttal, no explanation.
It was a speech that might be remembered, ultimately, as much for what it lacked as for what it contained — and for the message those absences seemed to convey: He is content with the angry voters he has won, who thunderously cheered him on here, and indifferent about wooing those he has not.
— Michael Barbaro, writing in the New York Times.
Welcome to a world without rules. (I want you to read this paragraph in your super-scary movie trailer voice.) Welcome to a world in which families are mowed down by illegal immigrants, in which cops die in the streets, in which Muslims rampage the innocents and threaten our very way of life, in which the fear of violent death lurks in every human heart.
Sometimes in that blood-drenched world a dark knight arises. You don’t have to admire or like this knight. But you need this knight. He is your muscle and your voice in a dark, corrupt and malevolent world.
Such has been the argument of nearly every demagogue since the dawn of time. Aaron Burr claimed Spain threatened the U.S in 1806. A. Mitchell Palmer exaggerated the Red Scare in 1919 and Joe McCarthy did it in 1950.
And such was Donald Trump’s law-and-order argument in Cleveland on Thursday night. This was a compelling text that turned into more than an hour of humorless shouting. It was a dystopian message that found an audience and then pummeled them to exhaustion.
Will it work?
— David Brooks, writing in the New York Times.
DONALD TRUMP’S SPEECH accepting the Republican nomination for president will probably go down as one of the most frightening pieces of political rhetoric in U.S. history.
Even for people who believe the danger of genuine authoritarianism on the U.S. right is often exaggerated, it’s impossible not to hear in Trump’s speech echoes of the words and strategies of the world’s worst leaders.
Trump had just one message for Americans: Be afraid. You are under terrible threats from forces inside and outside your country, and he’s the only person who can save us.
The scariest part is how Trump subtly but clearly has begun melding together violence against U.S. police and terrorism: “The attacks on our police, and the terrorism in our cities,” he said, “threaten our very way of life.”
This is the favorite and most dangerous message of demagogues across all space and time. After all, if we know our external enemies are deeply evil, and our internal enemies are somehow their allies, we can feel justified in doing anything at all to our internal enemies. That’s just logic.
And if anything, Trump’s speech is actually more terrific, fabulous and huge than those of previous fanatics, since he promises he’s going to fix everything overnight. “The crime and violence that today afflicts our nation will soon — and I mean very soon — come to an end,” Trump says. “Beginning on January 20th of 2017, safety will be restored.”
— Jon Schwarz, writing in The Intercept.
As long as I’ve got my hands up, they’re not going to shoot me. This is what I’m thinking. They’re not going to shoot me. Wow, was I wrong.
The National Basketball Association on Thursday dealt a blow to the economy and prestige of North Carolina by pulling next February’s All-Star Game from Charlotte to protest a state law that eliminated anti-discrimination protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.
The move was among the most prominent consequences since the law, which also bars transgender people from using bathrooms in public buildings that do not correspond with their birth gender, was passed in March.
The league, which has become increasingly involved in social issues, said that both it and the Hornets, the N.B.A. team based in Charlotte, had been talking to state officials about changing the law but that time had run out because of the long lead time needed to stage the game. The N.B.A. said it hoped the game could be played in Charlotte in 2019, with the clear implication that the law would have to be changed before then.
“While we recognize that the N.B.A. cannot choose the law in every city, state and country in which we do business, we do not believe we can successfully host our All-Star festivities in Charlotte in the climate created by the current law,” a statement by the league said.
I alone can fix it.
— Donald Trump, speaking last night in Cleveland, sharing with the convention crowd his outsized ego and not explaining how he can fix anything.
Elon Musk is certainly not afraid to think big. His second 10-year plan is briefly described as follows:
So, in short, Master Plan, Part Deux is:
Create stunning solar roofs with seamlessly integrated battery storage
Expand the electric vehicle product line to address all major segments
Develop a self-driving capability that is 10X safer than manual via massive fleet learning
Enable your car to make money for you when you aren’t using it
The GOP is really in disarray. It was a major error by Donald Trump to allow him to speak without a commitment to Trump. And Cruze himself is likely to be snubbed by the majority of the fractured GOP.
The 90’s band Third Eye Blind — who have hits like “Semi-Charmed Life,” “Never Let You Go,” and “How’s It Going to Be” — played none of them during a Republican National Convention linked concert last night at Cleveland’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Instead Third Eye Blind lead singer Stephan Jenkins basically taunted the crowd at the event.
“Raise your hand if you believe in science,” he asked at one point.
The Onion covers the story.
“Heed my tragic story well, friends, for the fickle hand of destiny could deal you the very same trials and sufferings I have known,” said Christie to his rapt audience, who listened breathlessly as the onetime presidential candidate told of the misfortunes he had brought upon himself by squandering the early promise of his governorship for a shot at the national spotlight. “You see me now in my diminished form, but know that not so long ago, I was called one of the leading lights of this party. Truly, I was a prince among men. But yet I continued to desire for more, and now see what my cravenness and my intemperate thirst for power have reduced me to.”
David Brooks, writing in the New York Times:
Does anybody else have the sense that Donald Trump is slipping off the rails? His speeches have always had a rambling, free association quality, but a couple of the recent ones have, as the Republican political consultant Mike Murphy put it, passed from the category of rant to the category of full on “drunk wedding toast.”
Trump’s verbal style has always been distinct. He doesn’t really speak in sentences or paragraphs. His speeches are punctuated by five- or six-word jabs that are sort of strung together by connections that can only be understood through chaos theory: “They want the wall … I dominated with the evangelicals … I won in a landslide … We can’t be the stupid people anymore.”
Occasionally Trump will attempt a sentence longer than eight words, but no matter what subject he starts the sentence with, by the end he has been pulled over to the subject of himself. Here’s an example from the Mike Pence announcement speech: “So one of the primary reasons I chose Mike was I looked at Indiana, and I won Indiana big.” There’s sort of a gravitational narcissistic pull that takes command whenever he attempts to utter a compound thought.
Trump has also always been a little engine fueled by wounded pride. For example, writing in BuzzFeed, McKay Coppins recalls the fusillade of abuse he received from Trump after writing an unflattering profile (he called Mar-a-Lago a “nice, if slightly dated, hotel”).
* * *
The structure of his mental perambulations also seems to have changed. Formerly, as I said, his speeches had a random, free-form quality. But on Saturday his remarks had a distinct through line, anchored by the talking points his campaign had written down on pieces of paper. But Trump could not keep his attention focused on this through line — since the subject was someone else — so every 30 seconds or so he would shoot off on a resentment-filled bragging loop.If you had to do a rough diagram of the Trump remarks it would be something like this: Pence … I was right about Iraq … Pence … Hillary Clinton is a crooked liar … I was right about “Brexit” … Pence … Hillary Clintons ads are filled with lies … We’re going to bring back the coal industry … Christians love me … Pence … I talk to statisticians … Pence is good looking … My hotel in Washington is really coming along fantastically … Pence.* * *Suddenly the global climate favors a Trump candidacy. Some forms of disorder — like a financial crisis — send voters for the calm supple thinker. But other forms of disorder — blood in the streets — send them scurrying for the brutal strongman.
If the string of horrific events continues, Trump could win the presidency. And he could win it even though he has less and less control over himself.
Good luck with that.