Live action “Ambiguously Gay Duo”

See how many of the live action actors you can identify. I wonder how much this cost.

Operation Pumpkin

British government security officials have a number of contingency plans in place to handle any eventuality during tomorrow’s royal wedding activities. My personal favorite, apparently called Operation Pumpkin, is the plan for what to do if Kate leaves William at the alter.

The top-secret contingency plan for a “runaway bride” scenario has been dubbed “Operation Pumpkin”, and if put into effect would see hundreds of operatives switch tasks in a desperate attempt to generate a moving security cordon around the escaping future Queen – while simultaneously attempting to preserve Prince William’s option to pursue and dramatically win her back.

“Frankly, it’s a nightmare scenario,” one highly-placed MI5 source confessed to the Reg yesterday. “But you have to plan for every possible contingency, and let’s face it, this one’s hardly that unlikely, is it? Obviously we had to get together with Clarence House and work something out.

Time to upgrade

After reading this review, I can’t wait to go out and buy the new device.

“The new device is an improvement over the old device, making it more attractive for purchase by all Americans,” said Thomas Wakefield, a spokesperson for the large conglomerate that manufactures the new device. “The old device is no longer sufficient. Consumers should no longer have any use or longing for the old device.”

Added Wakefield, “The new device will retail for $395.”

Able to remain operational for longer periods of time and occupy a demonstrably smaller three-dimensional space, the new device is so advanced when compared to the old device that it makes the old device appear much older than it actually is. However, the new device is reportedly not so radically different as to cause confusion or unwanted anxiety among those familiar with the feel of the old device.

“Its higher price indicates to me that it is superior, and that not everyone will be able to afford it, which only makes me want to possess it more,” said Tim Sturges, owner of the old device, which he obtained 18 months ago when it was still the new device. “I feel a strong urge to purchase the new device. Owning the new device will please me and improve my daily life.”